![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Sleep study? HAHA The joke was on me!
Arriving a bit early for the appointment, I hung out in the Endeavor for a while, then made my way in to the facility. Once I finally got someone to give me actual directions, it was easy to find. For some reason every time I tried to get directions, the only possible way to arrive at the sleep center was via Carl's (Karls?) ice cream. The sound of sheer horror I was met with when I said I had no idea of where that was sounded straight from a B fright flick. :::eye roll:::
Is it too much to ask that if you work at an establishment, you can either give concise directions to its location or put someone on the phone who can? Sorry if I have never been to the local ice cream joint, but I still have a doctor's prescription for a sleep study.
Once inside it was not long before we were called in, two by two. There were at least 2 no-shows in the first curtain call. The lady (note: term used only to denote gender!) who was called with me was there for her second sleep study. She said her first results were inconclusive, but she did not know what that meant. She also showed up reeking of smoke & drinking a bottle of caffeinated soda; our directions clearly stated no caffeine after lunch. Inconclusive, you say?
After being brought to a small room that resembles a nice little motel room, I am told to relax, watch some TV & sign approximately 413 forms. I have a private bathroom & a small fridge that had I known was there, I would have brought something to drink. The room is much nicer than the clinical set up I was expecting.
Stephanie, my sleep tech, was not real big on explaining things thoroughly. For most folks, I don't think it would have mattered much, but since I am such a detail freak, it bothered me a bit. I got to watch a video about the sleep study that was mostly a commercial for a CPAP machine manufacturer. How clever! Once all the paperwork was out of the way, I changed into my nightclothes (something that I had to scrounge around for) & away we go.
No one had prepared me for the amount medical apparatus that was going to be attached to me!!! I counted 21 connections in all while on the phone with Brian describing my plight to him after I was wired for sound. I am not sure exactly what sort of scrub Stephanie used to prep my skin before attaching the electrodes but if you ever have the need to remove your skin from your body, this is the stuff for you. Not only was the stuff abrasive as heck, Stephanie used the same sort of power that you would use to send an object into another orbit.
Some of the electrodes were attached with foam adhesive, others were pasted, then taped onto me, while the one on my chin was glued. Yes! Glue! Then taped over! There were two belts placed on me; one around my belly & the other above my chest. They were cinched tighter than a saddle. I was very happy when they were loosened enough to permit breathing. Just when I thought I was done, Stephanie lassoed me with plastic tubing then placed little tubes up my nose & one that hooked just into my mouth.
Let's see ... two belts with monitoring devices, two electrodes attached to each calf. an electrode behind each ear, one on each temple, one of my throat, two on my chest, one on my forehead, the glued one on my chin, 4 pasted to my scalp, the tube in my nose & mouth, a pulse thingie on my finger. If that's not 21, I must have missed a device somewhere!
After making sure I was mobile with the device that everything plugged into, I was turned loose in my room to watch TV, read or whatever. This when I called Brian & got the first look at myself in the mirror. Ack! I looked like an accident victim with pieces of tape stuck to my face & head & tubes & wires running everywhere. The tube thing in my nose was one size fits all & a little too big for me. Not to mention that it was crooked. I had to hold the mouth part away from my mouth while I talked to Brian or tried to drink. It was comical to say the least.
After taking a sleeping pill & crawling into bed with the wires & tubes, Brian & I said good night & I settled in & tried to relax. Just when I had gotten comfy, Stephanie came flying into the room & scolded me for not telling her I was laying down. Ummm, if I wasn't supposed to lay down, shouldn't you have told me that? She hooked me up to the monitoring stuff, re-taped the chin electrode with the gentleness of a linebacker & left me alone.
If you have never tried to get comfortable with 21 wires & tubes attached to you in a strange bed, I don't recommend it. Thankfully the sleeping pill kicked in & I finally dozed off. I know woke up a few times before falling into a 'decent' sleep. Around 2:15 am, I woke up & needed to go to the bathroom. Thank goodness, I remembered that I needed to be disconnected before attempted to exit the bed! I couldn't remember Stephanie's name at this point (I knew it was an "S" name) so I just asked for help. The room was equipped with an intercom. After calling for help several times, my bladder started getting a little nervous. Finally Stephanie showed up & I was able to stumble to the bathroom.
Something dangling by my eye revealed a loose electrode which Stephanie smashed back into place on my head. Once again, I do my best to fall asleep. Throughout the night, she had to come in a few times to re-attach various electrodes that had come loose. I am not sure how many times in all I woke up during the night, but the term 'fitful sleep' comes to mind.
At 5:30 am, Stephanie's voice comes over the intercom letting me it is time to wake up. She's ask if I will go home & finish sleeping, but with a 45 minute drive & some grocery shopping to get done, I tell her that it's not an option. If I thought she was a bit rough attaching all of this stuff to me, I was in for a big surprise when she removed it. Ripping & tugging all the tape & glue & paste off with the speed of someone who wants to clock out, Stephanie detached me from mechanical connections in no time flat.
Once a sleep expert looks over my results they will be sent to my doctor. I hope the results are good enough because I don't see me repeating that ordeal.
Arriving a bit early for the appointment, I hung out in the Endeavor for a while, then made my way in to the facility. Once I finally got someone to give me actual directions, it was easy to find. For some reason every time I tried to get directions, the only possible way to arrive at the sleep center was via Carl's (Karls?) ice cream. The sound of sheer horror I was met with when I said I had no idea of where that was sounded straight from a B fright flick. :::eye roll:::
Is it too much to ask that if you work at an establishment, you can either give concise directions to its location or put someone on the phone who can? Sorry if I have never been to the local ice cream joint, but I still have a doctor's prescription for a sleep study.
Once inside it was not long before we were called in, two by two. There were at least 2 no-shows in the first curtain call. The lady (note: term used only to denote gender!) who was called with me was there for her second sleep study. She said her first results were inconclusive, but she did not know what that meant. She also showed up reeking of smoke & drinking a bottle of caffeinated soda; our directions clearly stated no caffeine after lunch. Inconclusive, you say?
After being brought to a small room that resembles a nice little motel room, I am told to relax, watch some TV & sign approximately 413 forms. I have a private bathroom & a small fridge that had I known was there, I would have brought something to drink. The room is much nicer than the clinical set up I was expecting.
Stephanie, my sleep tech, was not real big on explaining things thoroughly. For most folks, I don't think it would have mattered much, but since I am such a detail freak, it bothered me a bit. I got to watch a video about the sleep study that was mostly a commercial for a CPAP machine manufacturer. How clever! Once all the paperwork was out of the way, I changed into my nightclothes (something that I had to scrounge around for) & away we go.
No one had prepared me for the amount medical apparatus that was going to be attached to me!!! I counted 21 connections in all while on the phone with Brian describing my plight to him after I was wired for sound. I am not sure exactly what sort of scrub Stephanie used to prep my skin before attaching the electrodes but if you ever have the need to remove your skin from your body, this is the stuff for you. Not only was the stuff abrasive as heck, Stephanie used the same sort of power that you would use to send an object into another orbit.
Some of the electrodes were attached with foam adhesive, others were pasted, then taped onto me, while the one on my chin was glued. Yes! Glue! Then taped over! There were two belts placed on me; one around my belly & the other above my chest. They were cinched tighter than a saddle. I was very happy when they were loosened enough to permit breathing. Just when I thought I was done, Stephanie lassoed me with plastic tubing then placed little tubes up my nose & one that hooked just into my mouth.
Let's see ... two belts with monitoring devices, two electrodes attached to each calf. an electrode behind each ear, one on each temple, one of my throat, two on my chest, one on my forehead, the glued one on my chin, 4 pasted to my scalp, the tube in my nose & mouth, a pulse thingie on my finger. If that's not 21, I must have missed a device somewhere!
After making sure I was mobile with the device that everything plugged into, I was turned loose in my room to watch TV, read or whatever. This when I called Brian & got the first look at myself in the mirror. Ack! I looked like an accident victim with pieces of tape stuck to my face & head & tubes & wires running everywhere. The tube thing in my nose was one size fits all & a little too big for me. Not to mention that it was crooked. I had to hold the mouth part away from my mouth while I talked to Brian or tried to drink. It was comical to say the least.
After taking a sleeping pill & crawling into bed with the wires & tubes, Brian & I said good night & I settled in & tried to relax. Just when I had gotten comfy, Stephanie came flying into the room & scolded me for not telling her I was laying down. Ummm, if I wasn't supposed to lay down, shouldn't you have told me that? She hooked me up to the monitoring stuff, re-taped the chin electrode with the gentleness of a linebacker & left me alone.
If you have never tried to get comfortable with 21 wires & tubes attached to you in a strange bed, I don't recommend it. Thankfully the sleeping pill kicked in & I finally dozed off. I know woke up a few times before falling into a 'decent' sleep. Around 2:15 am, I woke up & needed to go to the bathroom. Thank goodness, I remembered that I needed to be disconnected before attempted to exit the bed! I couldn't remember Stephanie's name at this point (I knew it was an "S" name) so I just asked for help. The room was equipped with an intercom. After calling for help several times, my bladder started getting a little nervous. Finally Stephanie showed up & I was able to stumble to the bathroom.
Something dangling by my eye revealed a loose electrode which Stephanie smashed back into place on my head. Once again, I do my best to fall asleep. Throughout the night, she had to come in a few times to re-attach various electrodes that had come loose. I am not sure how many times in all I woke up during the night, but the term 'fitful sleep' comes to mind.
At 5:30 am, Stephanie's voice comes over the intercom letting me it is time to wake up. She's ask if I will go home & finish sleeping, but with a 45 minute drive & some grocery shopping to get done, I tell her that it's not an option. If I thought she was a bit rough attaching all of this stuff to me, I was in for a big surprise when she removed it. Ripping & tugging all the tape & glue & paste off with the speed of someone who wants to clock out, Stephanie detached me from mechanical connections in no time flat.
Once a sleep expert looks over my results they will be sent to my doctor. I hope the results are good enough because I don't see me repeating that ordeal.
